Humans Actually Aren’t That Bad

The concept of making a list of people that were “the best” or “the most helpful” this year seems like an odd thing to do. After all, there would be a lot of my friends that are also amazing, just not “the best”, seeing the list, not finding themselves in it and thinking that I don’t like them, or that they’re not important to me.
Anyone that isn’t on this list is still a great person to me. You might’ve helped me through some rough times, you might have made me smile once or more, you might even be a really amazing guy to talk to on a regular basis.
This list are people that I want to say a special thank you to. Not because they did something extraordinary, but because I just want to tell them how much I appreciate them. This list isn’t in a particular order either. People that are more towards the top aren’t more or less good or important, they’re just the people that came to mind first when thinking of who to put on this list.
Have fun reading.

We only started talking pretty late in the year, after my ex and I broke up. But you have made me so happy over the last couple months. You were there for me when I couldn’t be there for myself, and you have made me smile so many times. We watch videos and derp around together almost every day, and if I had the ability to come over to your place and hug you, I would. Instantly. Without you, I’d probably be dead by now. I have never seen anyone as dedicated to making someone happy as you are to me. So thanks. Really. You’re amazing.

In sixth grade, which was ages ago, we became friends. We sat next to each other in class for two years after that, when you moved to a different city and our friendship basically died out. It was a bummer, really. I missed you. After school ended for both of us this year, we started catching up and meeting up again regularly. Now, we see each other almost every weekend and we play games together, horribly sing along to music and laugh and enojy ourselves. We’re broken in a similar kind of manner, and I think that’s what makes us get along so well. Here’s to never having our friendship fade a second time.

When I saw you in school, I always thought you were a bit weird. You had this kind of thing to you that just made me feel like you wouldn’t be a particularly great friend. Fuck, was I wrong. You are so dedicated to making your friends feel happy, and you pick apart their emotions in the most rational way to try to find a solution to everyone’s problems. You’re derpy, and quirky, and weird, and that’s what makes you great to talk to.

You were complaining that no one would put you on their “top people of the year” list, and that’s honestly part of why I made this list. I wanted you to be on one. And I didn’t just put you because of that, I put you because you fucking deserve to be on here. Even though, yes, you can be a bitch, you are one of the cutest and funniest people I have ever met. The way you talk, the kinds of jokes you make, and the way your personality is so quirky and derpy and honest is so amazing. I know we’ve had a lot of problems and fights in the past, and still sometimes do, but I think that’s just because we have really different personalities, and we’re both incredibly stubborn. If I have an opinion on something, then I won’t let anyone get through to me if they disagree. You’re the same. And honestly? That’s awesome. Being passionate about your emotions and your opinions is amazing. The way you fight for your believs is impressive and inspiring. I really mean that. On the other hand, our stubbornness makes it really hard to talk eye to eye sometimes, but the fact that we don’t hate each other yet despite having had so many differences in the past.. that means a lot to me. Thanks.

You’re a butt. That’s all there is to say. No, seriously, you’re such an awesome guy. I know you’re like me in that you’re gonna roll your eyes and think “Oh fuck off, I’m not that great” when you read that last sentence, and I’m telling you right here, right now, to shut up about that. You made me smile so many times, the stuff you said to me after my ex and I broke up, the way you said it, and the way you were there for me despite the fact that you have so many problems makes me feel so great. I know I’m not always there for you when you need someone, and I’m really sorry about that. But it’s not because I don’t like you, it’s because I’m also a big messy butt. But you’re awesome. Stop forgetting that, please.

I don’t really know that much about you on a personal level. You’re the artist for my game, mainly, but when we start talking about personal or unrelated stuff, it always feels like you really enjoy talking to me, which is great. You’re kind of closed off and quiet and that makes it hard for me to understand what you think and what you feel, and that’s fine, it’s just that I’m not really used to people being like that. I’m happy that I managed to get through to you on some more personal stuff though (like finally finding out your name >:3) because it makes me feel like you trust me and you care. It’s awesome that you’ve taken on the task to help me work on my game so much, and the progress we’ve made together is amazing. Here’s to making it a full game, releasing it, becoming famous and getting flown to PAX to speak about the game on panels in front of a huge audience! …Come on, let me dream.

Vasker, you’re a weird guy. You think some confusing stuff about yourself, and it feels like you still don’t really believe that I think you’re awesome, and that I’m really happy that we’re friends. Heck, when we first talked was after I broke up with my ex boyfriend at the time (I think it was around May this year) and I was so proud of talking to the person that literally inspired me to start modding Minecraft. I know you have a lot of personal problems and that’s why you don’t really talk about that kind of stuff a lot, but when you do, I always feel with you and try to make you feel better, but because I’m always lost in my own weird emotions, it’s sometimes hard for me. The way you meme all the time is really funny to me, because I just don’t have.. that.. skill. Yea. I can’t meme as well as you. So good job for that.

We met through a friend of ours and basically became friends through you wanting to mod my game. Since then, we’ve had times where we talked daily for hours on end, often with me laughing at how bad your coding was. But whenever I did that, I never did it because I thought you were bad or that you deserve to be laughed at. It was because you have this weird, quirky way of doing stuff, and it’s so funny to watch you do something like code because of the way you work and act and everything. I really like you as a person because you have this ability to be really cold about something and telling me that you hate me in a way that makes me honestly believe it, but then being like “nah, just joking” a couple seconds later which just.. it makes me question why I’m friends with you. In a joking way. You’re awesome, is what I’m trying to say.

We haven’t been talking that much lately, and I don’t really know why. You’re probably really busy with work and life and everything, but the fact that we share the same music taste makes me happy. There’s not many people that listen to the same music I do. I always enjoy talking to you about personal stuff like relationships and everything along those lines, because you’re amazingly sincere and open about stuff like that. Also, you’re funny and sarcastic even when talking about serious topics which often really lightens the mood and makes me feel a lot less depressed. The only things I want to really say to you is that I think we should start talking more again, and also I want you to MOVE ALONG, MOVE ALONG, LIKE I KNOW YOU DO.

I’ve literally known you for one day as of writing this. We met on Tinder, of all places, and my initial goal was to get you to go on a date with me, because I thought you were really cute and I was just kind of into you. But as we started talking more, our conversation immediately drifted to the more serious topics. Me not being over my ex. Depression. Emotions in general. Love. What relationships mean to us. And the more we talked, the more I began to notice that I just really like you as a person, and that I want to be friends with you. The way you started caring about me on such a personal level after less than a day of talking to me amazed me and it made me so appreciated and happy. So thanks. Really.

We haven’t really talked that much in general, to be honest, which I think is kind of sad. Not only are you really nice to talk to (and super gay), but you also have the same kind of depressiony problems as I do. You always think that you’re not worth talking to (you fucking are), and I hate that. We’ve had a bit of a rough start, I know, but I’m happy that we became friends because it’s nice to talk to someone that shares the same kind of mess in their head that I seem to have. But you’re not only great about that. Your humor and everything just feels awesome, I dunno, it feels like we have a very good dynamic when talking. So we should do that more, to be honest. Message me more. Pls.

I’ve had a crush on you immediately when I first saw a picture of you. Honestly, people, if you haven’t seen this guy’s face, he’s like the hottest person in all of The Netherlands. Anyway, we started talking and becoming really great friends super quick, and you’re honestly just a cute derpy guy that I love talking to. I know we didn’t really do that a lot recently, but I definitely wanna get back to it. You also ordered a beanie for me when you ordered one for you, and I really wanna have that. Originally, our plan was for me to come visit you and get the beanie that way. And honestly, I still think that’s a pretty good idea. Here’s to making that work in the next year!

We first met at The SpawnPoint when I visited my ex. Hugging you was cute and the fox hoodie you were wearing when we picked you up from the train station (or was it a bus stop? I can’t remember) is still stuck in my head because it was just so adorable to me. When we ate in that restaurant with my ex and Paul, the two were laughing about something super ridiculous and I kind of felt uncomfortable and awkward sitting there next to those two laughing freaks. When I looked over at you, you had exactly that same look on your face. From that moment on I knew that we had the potential to be pretty great friends. I know we also haven’t really been talking that much lately, and I honestly hope that can change again because I really enjoyed talking to you. Also, we still need to meet up to drink cider together. I love cider.

Oof. We haven’t exchanged a word for at least a million years, and I’m sad about that. Whenever I felt bad, you always had this weird rationality to everything you said. Unlike everyone else I was friends with at the time, your cheerups weren’t “It’ll all get better soon”, they were “You should do this and that so that things change”, and that was.. refreshing. Not always what I needed in the moment, but definitely the kind of stuff I needed to hear long-term. I miss talking to you because you were funny and quirky and honestly just kind of really weird. So we should go back to talking more.

You blocked me on all platforms when my ex and I got together. And it’s weird of me to put you on this list because of that. You still haven’t unblocked me and it feels like you still don’t really want to talk to me anymore. But there was a time this year where you honestly helped me out a lot. For a couple months, we used to talk every day and spend all our time together because we both felt weird and lonely and kind of depressed. I still don’t quite understand why you blocked me, but I still don’t hate you, and I’d love to have the chance to start talking to you again.

There’s so many insiders we came up with this year. From sobberoni to the worsterestestest insults of them all, we said so many fun things to and about each other. You’re so quirky and talking to you just makes me laugh all the time, but in an “I love this guy” kind of way. You also have your fair share of problems and I’m happy that we can sometimes talk about that stuff too. You’re a great artist and an awesome friend and I’m still really happy that I messaged you that one day about some food, or whatever exactly the first time we talked was about. Also.. you still didn’t start on those Actually Additions textures, lazy boy.

You’re a male furry, so by default it seems that two things hold true: You’re gay, and I’m “your type.” Yea, I don’t know why, but fair enough. We started talking pretty late in the year, I’m pretty sure it was after my ex and I broke up. During that time, I was feeling really down, but you sometimes took the time to make me happy and to cheer me up, and that’s awesome. You’re one of the people that, for some reason, I’m weirdly worried I’m gonna upset or make them hate me. So I’m happy that didn’t happen yet, and I hope it never will, because you’re an amazing friend so far.

We also haven’t really talked in the last couple of months, but I know that you are a lot like Doridian. Not in the way that you’re also a furry, also gay and also into me (should I even be saying this publicly? Oh God, you guys are gonna get me killed), but that you’re also a really great friend that has managed to help me through some pretty rough stuff. I don’t really know why we even stopped talking, because I always really enjoyed it. So we should definitely go back to that again. Yea. Message me please. Do it.

I know you do this thing where you come to me and start whining about how you thought you were “my best friend”, and I also know that you just do it jokingly. But that’s not the only reason I put you on this list. You’re a really nice and lovely and genuine guy and it makes me so happy to be friends with you. You also mod my game which gives me a valid reason to make fun of you, which is awesome. But honestly, you’re a great guy. Don’t change. Though.. you should probably get better at coding. So change that. But everything else is great.

The time that we talked wasn’t very long, based on circumstance. It’s fair enough, but it’s also kind of sad. I always though you were a really cute and nice guy, and, like, a person worth talking to. We met through Snow and we had some pretty rough times as well, and I know that you (or at least your life) seem to have changed quite a bit since we really talked, but I still want to catch up and start talking more regularly again. You’re a super nice guy and I still think you also look really cute, and you have a lot of quirks based around depression (at least you did when we still talked), which always made me feel bad because you, like many other people I know, didn’t manage to realize how awesome you really are.

For some reason, you made this list. Even though I’m trying so desperately to forget you, somehow, something makes me want to have you in this. Maybe it’s that you were the first “real” boyfriend I had, in that we met in real life. I flew over to the UK twice, you flew over here once, just to meet up and to hug and to cuddle and to kiss. The two and a half months that we dated were a great time, and as my eyes are welling up with tears while I’m writing this paragraph, I know that we’ve had a really great time, even though it had to end in such a rough way. You were my first time for a lot of things, especially the feeling of real, honest, actual love. The way I loved you wasn’t the kind of thing I could just let go of or forget, which is why I’m still so hung up on you. You showed and taught me so many things that I still keep in my head, and that still mean so much to me. I know you probably won’t read this, and you probably don’t care anymore, but the time I was with you was probably the happiest time of my life. I’ll never forget that.

So yea. That was all the people I wanted to say thank you to. I might update or change this post a couple of times until I’m truly happy with it, but this is what I want these people to know. 
Again, though: Regardless if you’re on this list, you’re still an amazing person. Heck, regardless if we ever talked or not, you’re probably an amazing person. I love all of you guys, wether you’re on this list or not, and I hope you all have a great 2018.
Take care, be happy. Please. <3